One of the fascinating aspects of transactional analysis theory is the whole idea of drivers. Everyone has all five, some stronger than others. In my opinion it's our responses to the drivers that get us out of balance.

Responding to the Hurry Up driver, we'll be rushing through life as if it's a time-limited buffet and we've got to eat as quickly as possible and to heck with the taste.

Responding to the Be Perfect driver we'll be engrossed with going the extra mile, giving 110% instead of relaxing with an effort that's good enough.

Responding to the Try Hard driver, we'll be caught up with prooving ourselves worthy time after time, instead of doing it for ourselves.

Responding to the Be Strong driver we'll focus on toughness rather than softness.

And those who respond to the Please Me driver will not know themselves, what they like and what they want.

In my experience, when a person tackles the driver behaviours and the script they're attached to, the person's life becomes more balanced. This in turn is both mentally and physically healthier for the person. They are ultimately happier.

The alternative to 'script work' with a therapist, is Adult interventions on your own. The following are borrowed from Philip Humbert, a former psychotherapist, now personal coach. His website is well worth a visit and is listed under the links page.

• 1. Balance living with dying. We don't think or talk about dying very often, and perhaps that's a mistake. We know, of course, that one day our turn will come, but we live as if there will always be another tomorrow, another year, another chance. But eventually, there will be no "next year". Do the big things now, while you can. Say the things that need to be said. One day, there'll be no more time.
  
• 2. Balance being with becoming. Most of my work and writing are focused on the "becoming" side of the equation. For the most part, personal development is about evolving, changing, growing, learning and becoming someone new and better. The irony of course, is that in the race to "become", we forget to "be" who we are. And often, if we spent more time with ourselves, we would discover that we are, indeed, good enough.
  
• 3. Balance the present with the future. So much of our planning, our focus and our effort are put into creating the future that we forget to enjoy today. The poets have told us that we can find heaven in the beauty of a rose, or know eternity by watching a child at play. It is good to invest and work for the future of your dreams. It is also good to enjoy each moment that life gives you. Show up. Be present.
  
• 4. Balance observing with creating. We are a culture of builders. We are energetic "movers and shakers". We climb mountains because they are there. We invent. If it's newer and better and cheaper and faster, we want it. And those are good things! But, we will never invent a better sunrise or have a better day than today. The attitude of gratitude is a good thing.
  
• 5. Balance living with earning an income. I've written about financial independence, and I believe it is important to use the opportunities we have to create wealth. But money does not bring happiness. "What does it profit a man to have the whole world, and forfeit his soul?"

  We are sometimes accused of being a society that insists on "instant gratification". We are told we live too much for the moment. I suspect the reverse is true, that we live too much in the future, that we are too often focused on everything except the present moment. And yet, this moment, this instant and this day, are all we really have. Take a deep breath. Note how good it feels. And, smile.