Transactional Analysis : Parent Ego State Samples

Positive Nurturing Parent

• I encourage you to discover what's right for you.
• I care about you.
• I'm glad you're here.
• I think you're smart.
• I like to watch you figure out what you want and then hear you ask for it.
• I really enjoy watching you experiment and learn about your likes and dislikes.

Negative Nurturing Parent

• Oh you poor thing, let me do that for you.
• It wasn't your fault, they made you do that.
• You've been so unlucky. No wonder you can't quit (smoking, drinking, eating ...).
• And you tried so hard too. Life just isn't fair is it?
• You can try if you want to; but I know it's too hard for you, and you'll only feel bad after.
• They may be smarter than you but you're much prettier, and that's what really matters.

Positive Controlling Parent

• What is it you want from me?
• Here are the alternatives ... which one would you like?
• The consequences for that are ... do you still want to go ahead?
• It is OK with me that you ask for what you want. You should ask for what you want.
• Here's how I (some procedure). Now you do it while I coach you.
• Initially, you can practise this only while I'm nearby to supervise.

Negative Controlling Parent

• You always mess things up, probably because you're so dumb.
• Why did you forget to buy that screwdriver like I asked?
• Do you try and screw up, or does it come natural?
• Why didn't you ...?
• I wish you were like your brother, he never causes me trouble.
• I guess I shouldn't expect more from you, after all you're your father's son.