Transactional Analysis : Ego State Exclusivity

Some people will exclude or shut out specific ego states. A person may for example exclude Child. This person will function from either Adult or Parent and as such not have access to memories of childhood. They will not experience themselves being 'childlike' as they once were. Since much of our emotional life is rooted in the Child ego state, people excluding Child will not be as emotional as others. They will be 'flat', 'cool', or even 'cold'. Others may observe them as being 'in their head' most of the time.

Some people exclude the Parent ego state. These individuals have difficulty remembering their parent's beliefs, feelings, and behaviours. As well and more significantly, excluding the Parent means these people have no built-in rules or beliefs about the world and how to operate in the world. Instead they either rely on the Child ego state and creatively invent rules and beliefs ad hoc, or they use the Adult to analyse and evaluate situations before taking action. The former method has variable, unpredictable success, and the rest of us will often consider these people socially inappropriate, the latter method is inefficient, cumbersome, slow, and a tremendous unnecessary energy drain. We might consider these people as 'slow to decide' or they think too much. People who exclude Parent often include those called 'wheeler dealers', criminals, and politicians.

Some people exclude the Adult ego state. These individuals will not conduct present tense information gathering, reality testing, or probability estimates of courses of action. Instead they will suffer the internal battle between Parent and Child ego states. This battle will include thoughts, feelings, and behaviours and as such the person may experience themselves as 'going crazy' as they toss back and forth between the two states. In extreme cases, they might be observed as neurotic or even more extreme, psychotic.

Some people exclude two ego states, and thereby rely solely on one ego state. This is called exclusivity.

A person who is exclusively Parental will not do much Adult information gathering or analysis but instead will spout beliefs, rules, slogans, and prejudices. A person exclusively in Adult will resemble the character Spock on the TV show Star Trek. A person exclusively in Child will solve problems using only with magical thinking, intuition, or emotions. We often label such people as immature or hysterical.

If you recognise yourself in the preceeding paragraphs, welcome to the club. Most people have a favorite ego state from which they solve problems; which resembles exclusion. The question to ask yourself is this: Does using this ego state to frequently solve problems result in a resolution that is good for me, or should I consider including selected input from all ego states? Many Transactional Analysts suggest that each situation is best supervised by the Adult which can dispense energy to the other ego states as deemed appropriate.