Transactional Analysis : Ego State Contamination

In lesson 1 we talked about the three ego states, Parent/Adult/Child and the characteristics of each. Recall that the Adult is a set of thoughts, behaviors and feelings that are appropriate to present time, here & now situations. The Child ego state is your set of thoughts, feelings and behaviors you experienced as a child - a kind of video tape of your inner and outer experience of childhood. Similarly, your Parent ego state is what you recorded as thoughts, feelings and behaviors of your parents. At any moment you will be in one of these.

And each moment can be evaluated as to which ego state is most appropriate. At times, the Parent is the best ego state to be in. For example large social gatherings where complex rules of behavior and protocol apply, or crossing the street where the rule "look both ways" applies. Even though the situation is a here and now experience, Adult data gathering, problem solving, and probability estimates of various ways to cross the street would consume unwarranted energy and time compared to the rule "look both ways".

If a person's Parent is more powerful than the person's Adult, many situations that require Adult will instead be dealt with from Parent. A frequent way this shows up is when a person states beliefs, slogans, prejudices, or 'pat' answers to questions rather than engaging in data gathering, evaluations, analysis and discussions. Yet the person believes they have done just that! They will often confuse beliefs with facts. We call this contamination. The Adult is contaminated by the Parent. "Don't confuse me with the facts, I've already made up my mind. Christians are hypocrites, Islamics are terrorists, life is hard and then you die, nice guys finish last, if at first you don't succeed - try, try, again. And don't give me any of that TA stuff, I'm an adult and I've never thought more clearly. Take it from me Bucko, I know!!!!"

If a person's Child is more powerful than the person's Adult, many situations that require Adult will instead be dealt with from Child. Frequently this shows up as "I" statements such as "I never get what I want" or "I can't do anything" or "I seem to carry bad luck around with me" or "I am so very special; but why doesn't everyone treat me like they should" or "I can tell what people are thinking just by looking in their eyes" or "I can make people feel [whatever]". Eric Berne used the word delusion to decribe Child beliefs. Delusions are decisions made by children about themselves and the world that are carried forward, unexamined, into the present. Indeed, the decisions continue unexamined. The Adult is contaminated by the Child. "I know everyone hates me. I see it in their faces all the time. Even though they try and hide it to be polite, I can see it in their eyes. Even God hates me. He's punishing me for hurting Mommy when I was born."